


Ginger and the Brat

by stew (julie)



Category: The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension (1984)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Teenagers, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1989-12-17
Updated: 1989-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:35:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22251208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julie/pseuds/stew
Summary: Fourteen-year-old Buckaroo is on his way home from school when he runs into the local bully.
Relationships: Buckaroo Banzai & Professor Hikita





	Ginger and the Brat

**Author's Note:**

> **First published:** in my zine “Samurai Errant: Cavalier Tales Quixotic and Profane” #3 on 17 December 1989

# Ginger and the Brat

♦

‘Well, brat, what are yer then, if yer not an alien wimp?’ 

Buckaroo eyed Terry Dolan carefully, considering his options. They were few – basically it was fight or run. Verbal ingenuity may in this case aggravate the situation rather than solve it. ‘Just a brat, if you like,’ he finally said. ‘But not a wimp. And I _do_ unfortunately come from the same planet as you.’

The other boy spat into the dusty road. ‘Prove it.’ And he walked up to Buckaroo, towered over him. ‘What’s this?’ 

‘Physics text book.’ 

‘Yer little swot. It ain’t on the readin’ list.’ 

‘True, it’s not on _your_ reading list…’

Dolan considered this, not slow to work out the implications of this information. ‘Wimp,’ he said again. ‘Think yer God’s Chosen ‘cause yer two forms ahead of everyone else.’

‘I can’t help being _more_ intelligent than others my age – but you could do something about being _less_ intelligent.’ And Buckaroo’s blue eyes shone as he deliberately called his red-haired classmate the nickname he hated: ‘Ginger.’

‘Shut yer mouth.’ 

‘Why? You’re going to attempt to hit me anyway.’ 

‘You got a smart mouth for a fourteen-year-old.’ 

‘And you have a dumb mouth for a sixteen-year-old.’

A growl from Dolan, and the fight was on. Had there been any spectators, they would have timed it as lasting perhaps twenty seconds. Dolan, larger and heavy-set, took good aim at Buckaroo’s right eye. Amazed as his ‘wimp’ of an opponent remained standing, he let his defense waver. Buckaroo got in a swift kick to one shin, and then a cracker of a swing across Dolan’s jaw. The boy dropped like a sack of potatoes. 

Buckaroo picked up his bag and books, keeping a wary eye on Dolan. ‘You all right?’ Buckaroo finally asked, as the other remained sprawled on the ground, thoughtfully feeling his jawline. 

‘Gee, kid, yer almost had me out cold,’ he observed. 

‘I figured you deserved it.’ 

‘Hell, yeah,’ Dolan replied slowly. ‘Wherever d’yer learn to do that? I thought you had yer nose in yer books all bloody day.’

‘Not _all_ day.’

‘Hey!’ the boy had a thought. ‘Hey, you been up the haunted house yet?’ 

‘No. No one’s taken me.’ 

‘Don’t have no friends, huh? Yer only new in town.’ 

‘It’s been six months,’ Buckaroo pointed out. They had been very long months – this town had proved a little less welcoming than others. Hikita had kept the two of them always on the move, taking on the bulk of Buckaroo’s schooling himself. Little else had had any continuity for the boy. 

‘Well, come on, brat.’ Dolan got to his feet and led the way.

‘Is it really haunted?’ And Buckaroo sounded rather more eager than scared. 

♦

‘Hikita-san! I made a friend today!’ 

‘Ah yes?’ The little man stood before the boy, arms folded, expression dark. Buckaroo was reminded of an imminently active volcano. 

‘I guess I’m late.’ The boy’s smile had died. ‘I’m sorry.’ 

‘What is that?’ Hikita indicated his face. 

Buckaroo lifted tentative fingers to the swelling around his eye. ‘That bad, huh? Terry Dolan did it. Then I knocked him out. Almost, anyway. I guess he kind of respected me for that. He took me up to the haunted house.’ 

The Professor seemed unimpressed. ‘Do you realize what I worried had happened? Do you know what I was thinking?’ 

‘I’m sorry.’ 

‘I thought you might be dead. Do you think that’s silly of me?’ 

‘No, Hikita-san.’ In a very small voice. 

‘You know I fear that Hanoi Xan will kill you as he killed your parents.’ 

‘But he won’t. He’ll wait to see what I grow up to be. Can’t carry on a family feud until I have kids of my own at least, huh?’ 

The older man felt behind him for a chair, and slowly sat down. ‘Are you mocking my fears?’ 

‘No, foster-father.’ Buckaroo looked (and felt) suitably ashamed under Hikita’s stare. 

‘Well, I suppose you are right, as always.’ The man sighed. ‘You haven’t had much of a childhood have you, Buckaroo?’ 

‘It’s all right,’ the boy whispered uncomfortably. ‘I’m happy.’

‘And now you have a friend, at least.’ 

Buckaroo smiled again. ‘He’s a bit dumb, but he’ll do.’ 

‘I’m glad to hear it, young man. But comparing yourself to your friends is vanity at best. It does not become you.’ 

‘No, Hikita-san,’ the youth agreed humbly. 

‘Very well, then.’ The Professor at last relented with a smile. ‘Come on, your dinner is waiting.’

♦

‘So, what’s the answer, Ginger?’ 

‘Hang on, hang on.’ Dolan’s pencil scribbled madly down the page under the algebra problem set that day as homework. ‘I can do it, but not in my head yet, yer great swot.’ He sat back. ‘There – _x_ is three, _y_ is ten, and _z_ is _pi_. Told yer!’ 

‘You’re a quick learner.’ 

‘I ain’t told you nothing yet. Mr. Smythe wouldn’t believe that I’d done last week’s algebra homework myself – he reckoned you’d done it for me.’

‘You never paid me enough,’ Buckaroo protested. 

‘That’s what I told him! No, I didn’t. What I did was tell him to set me another problem, and I sat down and worked it out for him then and there. He had to believe I could do algebra then. He didn’t like it much – you should have seen his face!’ 

Hikita stood over the pair. ‘You should not be so quick to laugh at the man. He has taught you both a great deal.’ 

‘Yes, Hikita-san,’ Buckaroo acknowledged, trying to stifle his giggles. ‘Hey, so can Terry stay over for the night? We’ve finished our homework, like you said.’ 

‘And if Terry stays over, what do you two scoundrels intend getting up to? What usually happens when you stay over at a friend’s house, Terry?’ 

The two boys quickly filled him in on all the details of this strange custom. ‘Sit around in our pajamas – pig out on food that’s really bad for us – stay up all night – watch stupid videos and lousy TV programs – tell each other ghost stories until we’re spooked –’ 

‘But _why?’_

‘It’s just one of those things you have to do when you’re a kid, Hikita-san,’ Buckaroo explained. 

‘Your father and I never felt the need –’

‘Didn’t you have pajama parties in Japan?’ Terry asked as if that fact more than any other brought home to him how foreign the country was. 

‘No, we did not, young man. Well, you may stay.’ The Professor sighed. ‘How is this usually done? If you bring the sleeping mats into the lounge room… Shall I make you some popcorn? And maybe we can order some pizza for dinner for once.’ 

Buckaroo stood to exuberantly hug his foster-father. ‘You’re the best, Hikita-san.’

♦


End file.
